one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize