Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize