So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How's work?
Spinning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
