I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
