i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
