Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have demons in me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
