At least make sure they are 18
Why
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
