I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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