i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
