This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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