guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
