Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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