Who did Billy Mays play for?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
