omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
