The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
