then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
