Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
