My friends, they love my intelligence
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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