But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
