ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
