he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
