Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
