You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
