We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
