You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
