He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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