I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
third nipple confirmed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
