i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Text me some of your sweat
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize