i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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