i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
honey bunches of taint.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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