does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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