Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
