Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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