yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize