I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
