Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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