A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
my poor anus
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
