I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
