if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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