I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
