What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize