Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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