the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
