Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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