I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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