just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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