Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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