Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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