You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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