i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
