sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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