marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize