come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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