she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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