just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
