Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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