Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
