I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
