The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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