i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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