My brain says no but my pants say off.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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