i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
