You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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