Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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