have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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