Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's always time for handjobs
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
