Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
