Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
