am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
