Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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