VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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